Obama for President

i, like, um, you know, so..

oh shit let me start again, like how the fuck do i even erase this shit?

like, i am so getting, like, really angry? because, like, anyone who thinks obama shouldn't be president is like soooo racist? i mean, like, there isn't even anything to think about here because, like, every one of my friends is, like, voting for obama?

he's like, so, like, you know, whatever!!!

i mean, if i'm getting my phd, then i sure as fuck know what i'm talking abot. about. is there a spel checker on this think thing>?

he's like, a black man? you thnk i havent slept with a black man? well fuck you, i have, like, you know, hate you fucking racists! i probably, like, aborted maybe five black kids and shit by now.

hillary is, like, a woman? so that, like, qualifies her? but she is so fuckihng old!! like that white man mcain! and like my parents! mccain is, like, older than my dad? and my dad is pretty plenty old!

i told him, dad, when you go to a nursing home, i'm gonna kick your fucking wheelchair down the fucking stairs because U MAKE ME SO FUCKING ANGRIY!!! ha ha see if your president bush will help you then, you fucking war whore!!

ha ha i threw a used tampon at my mom because she don't, like,, join me at code pink protests? look who's got blood on thier fucking hands now!! i never throw out my used tampoons because, like, professor kurgman says that's bad for the enviroment>? dad got a used tampon in his fucking breakfast cereal! and then i put one up his fucking nose whikle he was asleep? like, fuck you mom and dad? youre WAR MONGERS!!!

so maybe i should try to get obama to fuck me? cool! he don't have no phd, so he ought to like me and shit! an i can talk like a blak wymen to him and shit!

and, like, his priest or minister or whoever that guy is? cool! he sticks it to the fucking white people! i hate white people so much!! they, like, made colonies and shit in, like, wherever? and they like make slaves out of black people like obama and his minister>?

i was, like, so happy when the black people flew the airplaines into the world trade center? that's showing who the slaves are now! fucking dick cheney! i hate him so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! obama is gonna kick some ass! he is so, like, one of us?

if u don't like obama, then don't even speak to me...cuz u have nothing 2 tell me!! maybe i'll kick your white balls up your nose if you dis obama!

my mom and dad sooooooooo fucking owe me?

i wish i was dead!!

Virginia Tech Murders Fault of Jews

so, i was like not at all surprised to hear about the virginia tech shootings? i mean, like, we live in a really really sick society? one that eats chickens in kfc? like, every day chickens are, like, murdered so that white people can eat their filthy fried chicken, and, like, society is immune to that, so it's just a short step to killing people? it's like fuck you, i'm killing chickens today so fuck you, i'm killing people tomorrow?

and the guy who did the shooting was, like, asian? and all the victims were white? and that's like total fucking proof of racism? against asians? he probably said, like, fuck this white racist society? and fuck this school? school is some hard shit! i know! it's like, so, oppressive? and, like, my fucking nazi dad keeps opening his dumbass mouth about how he has to pay for my education and i better do good and i'm like all SHUT UP already you fucking pig? whatever!!! and this shooter guy had it easy because he is, from, like, asia or some shit where life is pretty fucking easy compared with fucking racist amerikkka?

(((and you think that the shootings have nothing to do with imus? well, if they had nothing to so with imus, then why the fuck did they happen, like, only a few days after imus raped the college basketball team? i mean, all you fucking hear about is fucking virginia tech this and fucking virginia tech that, and you don't hear any fucking shit about imus!)))

do you know how many people bush has murdered? fucking millions! and no one gives a fuck about that! the fucking amerikkkan military, is, like, taking a big fucking flying shit over people of color in, like, iran and iraq and every other motherfucking place where they can take the fucking oil to pay for cheney's blow jobs with college interns? (if that old fuckface ever tried that shit with me, i'd kick his fucking balls right through his mouth!) and, like, instead of taking action against the racist amerikkkan government (and their stupid fat fucking nascar-watching stupidass christianist population), all we, like, hear about is how a minority college student killed some people at a college in fucking redneck virginia.

hide the daily amerikkkan genocide and blame everything on a minority. yeah, wonder why?

well, who the fuck do you think controls the media? like...clueworld here...but who the fuck is killing millions of palestinians every day? yeah, like fucking no one is talking about the plight of our palestinian sisters and brothers now! it's all, like, kill the fucking koreans? the fucking zionists have been putting a lot of shit on kim jong el or il or WHATEVER and that didn't fucking work so now the fucking zionists have another, like, fucking korean in their fucking lying mainstream media so no one will notice a fucking holocaust repeated every fucking day in palestine. like, this is SO NOT what rachel corrie died for? (and that fucking jew soldier raped corrie before running her over, but, like, THAT FACT is, like, also, so suppressed by you-fucking-know-who?)

maybe if virginia tech, like, did something about their jewish students, then, like, this whole fucking thing wouldn't have happened? yeah, you won't fucking read about that in the fucking mainstream racist jew media! an' you know what? that's the fucking proof of everything i'm saying. know what i'm sayin'? yeah, i can talk like a black wymyn!

i don't have the fucking time, to, like, proof, any of this shit? i mean, i don't have time to even proof my fucking dissertation! so, like, if you see anything you don't like, then go fuck yourself.

i'm a GUY for a day

so for one day, i decided to live like a GUY to see what it is like.

***

my alarm clock went off at noon, and i was like, oh fuck, and i scratched my crotch like over and over and over. then i, like, wanted breakfast so i, like, killed a mouse and started eating its raw organs? with a beer? and another beer and another beer until i had, like, six bottles of beer? (yeah, well, actually the mouse was dead anyway for about a week, so it wasn't like i was disrestpecting peta and shit.)

it was now 12:15, and i was like, "damn, i've been up for fifteen minutes and i ain't got no pussy yet!" yeah, so i threw up on the kitchen table and, like, just left the puke there. (i do that anyway sometimes as a womyn though...)

then i walked into every room of the apartment and peed on the floor, cause every room belongs to me! (i had to, like, use p-mate to do this the right way.)

fuck, i had to go to class.

like, i didn't know which class, but i figured i would just, like, show up? and would see whatever class was in session? whatever!

so, i taped on a fake beard, and i got in my car, and, like really accelerated hard to the red signal at the corner where there was this, like, total "babe"? in the next lane?

and i'm like all "man, what i could with that!" yeah, she didn't like hearing that, and i didn't like saying that, but i'm a guy today!

"hey sugarcakes, that's some fine pair o' tits ya got!" yeah, she got mad, and i don't blame her! i mean, this is like, what happens all the time to wymyn? so, anyway, she drove off, but, like, part of my guy-supply was a bottle of rubber cement in my pocket? yeah, i squirted it on her car, and it, like, got all over her windshield and made, like, a TOTAL mess when the wiper blades started smearing it around? and i'm like all, "hey shitcakes, what the fuck do you want? I'm a guyyyyy!!!"

so anyway, i parked the car, and said, "fucking hell, i still haven't had any pussy today!" so I walked over to a lampost and, like, humped it? yeah, i poured rubber cement on that shit too!

i then opened my trunk and pulled out this big fucking sheet of attic insulation, and dragged it into the building. i got to the lobby, and said, "damn, i've got an urge!" so i, like humped the insulation and then poured rubber cement on it. that fucking shit is also a mess with rubber cement! like, the fibers get all gummed together?

anyway, i dragged the insulation through the halls and passed a classroom with professor kurgman lecturing in it. yeah, this must be my fucking class! so i kicked the fucking door in and swaggered in and professor kurgman is all "kathy, you're a guy today -- you can now get a taste of what it means to be in charge of patriarchichal (whatever!) society for one day!"

so i went to the front of the room and peed on his desk. then i peed on the walls. this is my fucking classroom cause i'm a guy! i blew a heap of wind out of my ass and yelled "i gotta leave early today to see the big game. and to get laid."

yeah, the whole class cheered!

"i'm gonna fix this fucking closet door now, it fucking squeaks like a bitch in heat!" yeah, i put a big fucking hammer to the closet door, like BANG, and then i took an axe and smashed the fucking thing apart with one blow. "it's all fixed now 'cause i'm a guyyyy!"

and professor kurgman said that he would suspend all of his classes unless the administration paid for my broken axe handle! he's tenured!

so i then turned to this wymyn classmate and said "let's do it babe!" and started humping her right in the fucking classroom...guy that i am fucking am! (yeah, she's like bi and shit, so she didn't give a shit about that shit.) i then squirted rubber cement on her, and said to her, "you better sew my gummy attic insulation, bitch!" then I threw the insulation at her and squirted rubber cement all over the classroom.

and professor kurgman said that today's experience can, like, count as part of my dissertation?

fuck yeah!

so, i then stuck my hand down my pants and pulled some lice out of my ass, and then fell asleep in the classroom, making sure to snore like a fucking pig.

at the end of the day, i became a respectable wymyn again -- though i had to give up my power. someday, wymwyn are gonna take the fuck over. men suck ass.

the minimum wage

the minimum wage

a paper to get my first phd

by kathy

part 1: history

a long time ago, people worked for nothing. they were slaves. everything we have today is from the slaves. slaves would do whatever slaves would do and their owners -- usually jews -- would keep all the profits. this was so unfair!

part 2: revolution

so malcolm x started a revolution that finally made the jews pay the slaves. that's why we're celebrating king day next week. malcolm x was a king!

part 3: wal-mart

today, wal-mart still has slaves. instead of letting them join a union, they lock them in the stores overnight and burn them to death. then they get a new batch of slaves the next day. motherfuckers!

part 4: corporate capitalism

the word for wal-mart and all other slave-owners is corporate capitalism. capitalism comes from the latin, or maybe greek, word "rape" because they rape the women before they burn them to death. they don't rape the men because they're homophobic.

part 5: the union movement

unions are progressive because they kick ass!

part 6: the democratic party

unlike dead white republicans like gerald ford, democrats make sure that the working people aren't exploited. they say if you hire someone, you have to pay them what they deserve. and if you're too dumbass to know what your workers deserve, then the democratic party will tell you that workers everywhere, no matter what they do, need $7.65 an hour and health benefits and disability benefits and overtime benefits and time-off benefits and unemployment benefits and social security benefits and medicare benefits and maternity leave benefits and physically-challenged benefits and equal-worth benefits and non-discrimination benefits and vacation benefits and guaranteed job benefits just to survive. you know what that means? survival! it ain't easy!

part 7: the communist party

they know about real worker liberation. the democrats talk too much, but the communists act! there has never been a minimum-wage problem in a communist country. in cuba, everyone works at whatever they want to do and they they don't care how much they make because they're happy! they have a rich culture (source: new york times) and really good health care (source: new york times).

part 8: economics

if you can't pay workers the minimum wage, then we won't let your racist ass hire any workers! that'll make you think twice about exploiting working people. we'll shut down your business. then you'll be in the street where we can pound your white balls in, and the workers will be liberated!

the end

my scientific inquiry on the holocaust

my scientific inquiry on the holocaust

by kathy

this is, like, my paper on the holocaust and i hope that my brothers and sisters in iran, like president ahmadinejad and doctor duke will consider it.

i don’t like jews for a lot of reasons, like, because they lie a lot. so if a jew says something, it’s a lie! so if they said that there was a holocaust, then that means there wasn’t a holocaust. so, that’s the proof!

but I need to write more because this is an academic paper and it counts towards my phd. and i don’t want to be cheap with words. that’s what the cheap jews do!

so, what is the holocaust? the holocaust happened a long time ago. i mean, if it happened at all. you know, it didn’t really happen, but i’m writing about how it would have happened if it did happen! you know, like oj’s book. he was so framed by white people! but he went on to write about what how he did what he didn’t do – and I’m writing about how the holocaust happened, though it didn’t happen.

so, it was a long long time ago, like maybe 1970 or something – when the jews were being, like REAL pains in the ass of europe, and until I wrote that last sentence, i didn’t even know that europe HAD an ass. but Europe HAS TO have an ass because the jews were such pains in it. they were like european hemorrhoids. eurohoids!

and the holocaust was like preparation-h to get rid of the eurohoids. (not that i would know about preparation-h. that’s the kind of shit my dumb-ass grandparents use!)

so the europeans said to the jews: “look jews, please stop being mean to us and saying hurtful things to us and eating animal meat, ok?” and that’s it! that’s the whole holocaust, if it happened.

and after that so-called “holocaust”, the jews then started murdering palestinian babies to drink their blood for their holiday rituals. and then they would sit in their zionist jewish centers tearing the raw flesh of palestinian babies with their devil-claws while plotting to destroy the whole world with their network of world slavery and global capitalism. like, redundant? slavery and capitalism? jew and imperialist murderer?

so science once again proves that the holocaust didn’t happen and that the jews are a bunch of trouble-fucks.

this was the best fucking paper! awesome!

Thanksgiving: Thanks for Fucking Nothing

it's thanksgiving? and i've got, like, a whole lot to be thankful for? RI-I-I-IGHT! like how can i be thankful for anything when nothing good ever fucking happens? i mean, like, i'm always trying to be, like, helpful? and, like, doing what's right? and look what i fucking get in exchange! i get to live in a fucking stinkhole racist society, where, like, the game is rigged for rich people? yeah, i read the fucking new york times! and i see how, like, rich people get rich because they, like, fucking steal? from the poor? they fucking get rich be taking shit from people who have nothing! tell me that's fair!

so anyway, professor kurgman was telling me that this shit has to, like, stop? and that rich people, like, EXPLOIT poor people? and like, this whole fucking country was founded on genocide? and that, like, there's gonna be a fucking revolution someday? and the poor people are gonna take what's theirs? and that everyone is gonna contribute, like, whatever they can do? and, like, everyone is, like, gonna take only what they need? and, like, everything will then be fair? because everyone will be the same? yeah, i do well on professor kurgmans tests! u know y? because he gives the same grade to, like, FUCKING EVERYONE! cause that's, like, fairness?

why don't the working people fucking kill the rich people already? like, fuck them? if the working people, like, killed the rich people, everyone would be working class and then all be alike? that's solidarity! yeah, that's diversity, too! i mean, what's the difference between solidarity and diversity as long as rich people are, like, dead?

but that is like, totally future? now, we gotta fight! fight the man! yeah, fuck you, i'll take the message to the street and kick your fucking ass too! i don't care if i, like, miss my classes to fight for the people? i'm getting the same grade anyway! i'm getting my fucking phd anyway!

yeah, i'm gonna, like soooooooo fucking fight this thanksgivng? i'm gonna spend the day with my fucking parents and teach them, like, about my rights? like, last thanksgiving, i taught them about abortion? i, like, got pregnant? just so i could have an abortion? my mom said i ought to go fuck myself, but i said, like, shut your fat fucking ass up? u wanna see me have a fucking abortion right on the fucking dinner table, bitch? i'll fucking do it too! like, u ought to go fucking talk, with your murdered turkey? fuck my parents! i plastered their whole fucking house with peta stickers? that i paid for with money i stole? from my father's wallet? fuck him! he stole that money from the working people, so i'm taking it back! he's such a capitalist fuckface, like he goes to work to make up for his small white dick or something?

this year, i'm gonna, like, put explosives in the turkey? the turkey fights back! it will be like a fucking turkey intifada! i'm gonna name the turkey rachel corrie because the turkey and rachel corrie were both killed by zionists? and i'm there to help both of them fight back after they're fucking dead! And, like, maybe rachel corrie will blow up and kill me too? That would be, like, so cool? because I wish I was dead anyway? and, like, they can then put my pieces on display at, like, an art gallery or some shit like that because it would be, like, art? with a message? and peta can throw the rachel corrie pieces at the fucking white men who walk in front of kfc?

yeah, that's what thanksgiving is all about! it's about, like, all the oppressed people in the world and the turkeys being thankful for ME!

yeah, thank me and fuck you.

KFC, PETA and ME!

so today i was, like, handing out leaflets in front of kfc? because killing chickens is, like, so fucking cruel? you know, like, if people stopped eating chickens, chickens would never have to die anymore? we would have so many fucking chickens everywhere! so, anyway, maybe then, the chickens would, like, fight back? and they would, like, attack the corporatists and, like, peck them to death? peck their fucking eyes out? yeah, you eat at kfc, you're gonna get your fucking eyes pecked out! and then, like, the chickens would eat your brains through your eyeball sockets? ha ha getting your brains pecked while your still alive! u think its funny when u eat a chicken, wait 'til ur eyeballs are wrenched out by their fucking beaks ha ha!

who's the cunt in the flyer anyway? like, fuck her? but al sharpton is like so fucking cool. i mean, he's black, ok? so he gonna be cool! fuck dat shit! like, my boyfriend told me that al sharpton, like, once led a riot against a buncha fucking jews in brooklyn? cool! and al sharpton, like, instigated, this dude to burn down a fucking clothing shop in harlem, that, liked, killed a buncha people? cool! and like even i know about how al sharpton exposed, like, some racist district...uh...attorney for raping some chick named, like, tawana, or some shit like that? i mean, al sharpton really really really hates white people and jews, so he's. like, fucking PERFECT for being on our side and resisting the jews at kfc from killing poor poor chickens?

so anyway, i handed the flyer to this asshole on the street, and i'm like all, "hey dude, like boycott kfc?" and he asks if peta is gonna protest in front of muslim halal restaurants that kill chickens and goats and sheep and whatever. so i said to him, like, are you a fucking racist or what? yeah, then i screamed GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFFA MY TITS and i kneed him in the balls! cool! i then, like, spit on him? fucking racist! jew racist! like, no wonder everyone hates you guys?

and i'm like, really fucking angry now? yeah, maybe i should get, like, a fucking JOB at kfc? when someone orders a chicken, i'll smack him (yeah, like wymyn would, like, EVER eat a chicken?) with a dead fucking bird and, like, get chicken blood all over him? i'd, like, get to work early, and, like, leave rotting chickens on the tables? maybe i oughta, like, send a bloody chicken to fucking bush? the whole fucking army, like, eats chickens? fuck them! no wonder the muslim people hate us! we, like, kill chickens all the time, and, like, we WONDER why fucking amerikkkans get their throats cut open by muslims? yeah, you cut the throat of a chicken, and we'll cut your amerikkkan ass open too!

i am like SO ASHAMED of living in the country, and, like, being white?

i, like, wish i was dead?

fucking update: from the comments section, like, check out these pictures? the fucking birds are teaching these assholes a lesson for going to kfc! fuck bush! fuck bush! fuck bush! fuck bush! FUCK BUSH! and, hey, like, who's the funny-looking cunt? fuck her!

election day and rachel corrie

so, the other day, i like went to see "my name is rachel corrie"? because, like, she was my friend? she was just like me! and all she wanted was to help palestinian kids from the jewish holocaust? yeah, the only jewish holocaust is the one where the jews kill our muslim sisters and brothers in palestine and lesbanon! and, like, anyway, rachel was, like murdered by jews? and, like, i was so fucking pissed because, like, that's when i was discovering i was, like, bi? and now, i, like, won't ever get a chance to do it with rachel? fuck you, jews!

and don't u call me a racist cuz, listen, i care, ok? i care about the environment! i care about people! i care about the whole fucking earth! and i don't want a bunch of jews destroying my planet? so fuck you, i'm, like, such NOT a racist?

so i'm gonna be thinking about rachel when i go to the voting booth, and i'm gonna vote against anyone who's, like, jewish? yeah, even if the jews are socialists and for world revolution, i don't care! fuck you, jews! i'm just gonna write in my candidate, like maybe with a magic marker or some shit like that? i'll, like, fucking tag the machine? mumia for president! an' if there's any other race besides president, then fuck you, i'm writin' that in too! for vice-president, i'm voting for the ayatollah? cuz, like, that's what rachel would have wanted? ha ha i'll fucking smear my menstrual blood on the fucking voting machine! rachel woulda done that 2!

u better vote! i fucking hate people who don't vote? they're like, soooooooo selfish? and, like, you have no right to complain about anything if you don't vote? like my mom got upset when my boyfriend took some cash out of her dresser? and I was all like, fuck you mom! you didn't vote, so you've got no right to complain! i mean, like, she voted, like, a looooooong time ago for nixon instead of castro, so she had no right to complain about how amerikkka is so fucking fascist? so she says it's like, her, fucking money and my boyfriend has to keep his fucking fingers out of her property? and i tell her to keep her fucking fingers out of her own ass because, mom, you are such a dumb fucking cunt, don't you know that, like, no one owns anything? i mean, what kind of shit is that? how can you fucking "own" anything?

so my mom told me to get a job, and i was like, i'm a grad student? i'm getting a fucking phd? i don't have time to work cuz i gotta do thinking instead? yeah, i spit on my mom and told her to give me more money! like, mom? fuck you? i told her that i didn't ask to be born? and now i want to kill myself because of her? so she's gotta pay me! she owes me! and she's like all upset and i'm like so totally whatEVER! like, fuck you, mom!

besides, when mumia becomes president, no one's gonna need to work any more! bush is such a cheap fucking jew that he never gives money to anyone? but a president like mumia would give us a lot of money and shit! fuck me, i'll never have to work! as if i would work anyway? like, since when would a phd need to work? like, duh? but the president should give everyone lots of money so we could, like, party all the time? no money for jews, though! they'll just use it to kill muslims! besides, they got enough money anyway.

now i gotta vomit cuz bush makes me sick.

or maybe it was that yellow shit i ate in the dumpster last night? i thought it was, like, tofu? fuck me, it really was yellow shit! if i throw it up and eat it again, that makes me a closed ecosystem!

like, just die already?

tampon

so, like this idiot wants to know what i carry with me? is that, like, major creepy or what! I mean, like, do you, like, jerk off while you read my postings? I’d call the fucking police, if like, you know, they weren’t such a fucking pack of sex deprived pigs themselves?

i’ll tell you? what I carry? ok, like, i carry two things? my cell phone? and a tampon? an’ i don’t pay for no fucking tampons! i, like, find them in dumpsters? when i go on my freegan dumpster diving? i mean, like, so much food goes to waste? just sitting in the trash? an’ like, tampons? it's like SOOOO wasteful to throw them out?

yeah, fuck you, i'm saving the fucking ecovironment because i re-use my tampons? i like, squeeze the blood out an' scrape the mushy stuff off an', like, use them again? and again? and again? and again? an' like, professor kurgman sez that i'm like not only saving the planet, but making a statement about my wymwynhood? like fucking PROFOUND an' shit! and like, FUCK YOU MUCH, bush? when the fucking tampon is, like, so over? i send it to the white house? because, like, they're like, sending people of color to war? an' like, you don't even have to even KNOW that this fucking war is in iran or iram or irat or ikod or ipod or WHATEVER!! like, fuck you, i also carry an ipod? an' you can't fucking shoplift these things anymore because of fascist security systems? so, i like just took the money out of my dad's wallet when he was visiting? he was in the bathroom? like probably jerking off? an' like FUCK YOU DAD 'cuz i know where you're stolen money is an' i'm soooo returning it to the people? so i took a handful of money an' stuck it in my pocket next to my tampon? an' bought an ipod?

an' u know what? i'd rather be sticking fucking steel wool up my cunt than a kotex? because kotex is made by kimberly-clark? an' they're a bunch of zionist murderers? i am like SOOOOOOOOOO boycotting kotex! during the lesbanon war? the jews were, like, suffocating muslim babies with kotex maxipads? an' those fucking jews better get ready to call me DOCTOR soon because i'm like thisclose to my phd an' shit? look the fuck out, azzholes, 'cause this bitch is gonna fuck u up! like, phds are, like, never wrong?

just go fuck yourself.

iranian prez rocks!

the iranian president or ex-president, or WHATEVER, khatami, is speaking? at my school? that is, like, so cool! i mean, iran sounds like such a cool place? and president khatami? would be, like, such a good replacement for fuckface bush?

i heard that before i was born? like, the c-i-a attacked the iranian students? in the embassy? but the iranians students don't take no shit! they kicked the cia's asses up and down the streets, and, like, beat the shit out of them? like, why can't america have a peace movement like that?

and, like, do you think the black wymyn in me comes out when i say "don't take no shit"? my friends say that, like, we all came from africa a long time ago? and, like, in africa, everyone, like, speaks, like, "i ain't doin' that shit"? and, like, i respect that because i'm african too? so fuck you white man! I ain't takin' your shit!

and president khatami hates white people too because, he's like, a person of color, and he says things like, "i ain't doin' shit for the cia"? i mean, my friends are all, like, fuck bush? and khatami is, like, all fuck bush? so, like maybe america should just become part of iran? i mean, fuck me, when part of america wanted to become part of iran in, like, 1860 or 1960 or WHATEVER, they fought a fucking civil war over it! yeah, and that's when malcolm x said, like, we ain't takin' this shit, and then some white guy like shot some black guy, and, like... like... like...history is, like, so boring? i mean, how fucking irrelevant! we've got a fucking revolution to win and the fuckheads talk about history! like, people who talk about history, are, like, so old? fuck you! i ain't takin no shit from old people! fuck you and fuck your history! my generation, like, knows everything? so we don't need your history? fuck everything before i was born!

yeah, my fucking parents are old, and i don't take no shit from them either! fuck them! i mean, my dad looks like an even bigger asshole next to khatami? i wish khatami was my dad! i'll bet khatami married someone better than my dumb cunt of a mom! like, fuck you mom? fuck you! fuck both of you! i mean, like, i am so fucking sick of u telling me shit like how u paid for my education? i mean, like, u fucking owed it to me! an' if you weren't such a cheap pair of asswipes? u would b sending me more money? instead of, like, paying your booshwah medical bills? fuck both of you!

i mean, like, i still want to be fucked? by a muslim? and, like, since arafat is dead, khatami would be my fucking dream come true? i'm gonna watch him talk an' it'll be, like, a pretend fuck? i'm gonna make it happen!

just fuck off and die.

books i read

so, like, professor kurgman sent me these questions? he told me that it's, like, a final exam? and, like, everyone passes because grading is racist?

1. One book that changed your life?

my acceptance letter to, like, grad school? i mean, that's a book, right?

2. One book you have read more than once?the users guide for my new cell phone?

like, i read it several times, but it's like, so, male-oriented? u have 2 b, like a guy? to speak their, like, stupid language?

3. One book you would want on a desert island?

yeah, fuck me, like ur gonna read on a desert island? like, i'll eat any kind of desert shit cause, like, i don't have to watch my weight? it's like, you know, wow? whatever!

4 One book that made you laugh?

my dad's checkbook cause it was like so pathetic? that he wasted money? on booshwah shit like electric bills? and food? fuck him!

5. One book that made you cry?

i'll make u cry, u fucking wymwn-hating bigot! i am just, like, so, you know, fuck you? today?

6. One book you wish had been written?

maybe, like, a shoe catalog that's so fucking big? that i could spend a week going thru it?

7. One book you wish had never been written.

yeah, i got a lot of textbooks that i wish were never written? because it took me so fucking long to read that shit? as if i read them! my undergrad professors were, like, so uptight and shit so i would say fuck this, like, being high is, like, so much more real that listening to them? fuck them!

8. One book you're currently reading.

yeah, i'm reading the Q'uran because there's like, a lot of truth? in it? i mean, i bought the book? that's the same as reading it, right? but, like, who has to read it anyway to see that the palestinians? are like suffering? because of capitalism?

9. One book you have been meaning to read.the protocols of the elders of zion?

i am just, like, so angry? at jews? for, like, making trouble all over the world? and, like, ruining my parties? i mean, what the fuck is a protocol anyway? i bet they beat muslims with their protocols!

10. Now tag five people.

i'll tag your white ass! yeah, just cause i'm white doesn't mean that i don't think like a wimyn of color! fuck you white boy! u wanna see a bitch? i'll smash your balls with my dissertation! i am, like, just so, fuck all white people today?

rumsfeld jerks off on Q'uran

i, like, didn't believe this at first because it is, like, he is so old? and his jewish dick is, you know, probably so gross? but, like, a picture of it was put on the front page of the new york times? or, at least, that's what my friends told me? i mean, i've got a lot of friends? and they send me all sorts of shit? like, look at this proof of what bush is doing? i have, like, so many friends that i don't, like, even know all of them? but i am like so fuck you today because my friends say to me, like, kathy, you are, like, so much smarter than that wonkette bitch? and i'm like, all, fuck wonkette? like, she's a friend too, but fuck my friends? i mean, even if i lost half of my friends, i would still have more friends than you or anyone else? and if you have fewer friends than me, like, go fuck yourself, because i don't even speak to people that don't have enough friends?

like, i really hate religion, ok? fuck the pope! but you don't disrespect Islam by jerking off on their holy book! it's where i draw the line? i mean, Islam is the real deal? and if you don't like it, you're a racist? like my parents? i told them, like, why don't you convert to Islam, but they are, like, so racist that they won't even, like, consider it? like, fuck them? so, like, fuck me, i'm gonna be a muslim someday because it's, like, the only place where wimwyn get respect? and, like, where there's no war? fuck war! i hate war! you want a war, you gotta fucking deal with me! i fucking march in the fucking streets to, like, stop wars? but bush just wants war and just wants war and it's like war war war against the people of color and lesbians and just fuck all of you? yeah, you fucking stop my peace march an' amerikai'll fucking kick your nuts in!

it's like the time i kicked my dad in the nuts? i was, like, eleven years old? and he, like, said some racist shit about how everyone should get a job, and i was, like, dad? pow! i kicked him the fucking nuts! yeah, like, show your jelly balls to your kkk buddies now, you fucking white pig!

fuck off.

i hate jews

so, like, i said those very words at the protest against population? and, like, some people thought that i said i hate shoes! and that is like so totally not so? like, even at the protest i was wearing a new pair that i bought over the weekend? yeah, i own more shoes than bush has brain cells! that's pretty funny. like, i'm really funny when i get high? but i always owned lots of shoes. when i was a teenager, I filled my entire wardrobe by shoplifting? fuck the corporate state! the fucking shoes were mine! i had a whole fucking closet full of them and my mom was like, all, "where the fuck did you get all those fucking shoes?" and i was so totally, like, fuck you mom, you dumb cunt? you're part of the fucking problem? i wish i was dead because of you?

yeah, i was listening to president nasarallah of lebanon or palestine or WHATEVER, and he is like so WOW brainy? he hates the fucking jews because they're, like, doing a genocide to his people? i mean, like, i always walk around wearing a keffiyeh in solidarity with the palestinian people? when you see me wearing that, i'm saying: fuck you, jew! i, like so wish i was a palestinian? but my fucking parents had to be white and so i am, like, really white? but my blood is socialist, i figured that out in biology class. yeah, fuck me, i've got good socialist blood. yeah, dick cheney, maybe you would like my socialist menstrual blood tossed in your face like the way you torture the palestinians in guantanamo? yeah, i smeared menstrual blood on my dissertation in solidarity with the islamic community? because they are, like, humiliated by american and zionist nazis? every day?

i mean, i used to have jewish friends until i figured them out. jews, like, own wal-mart? and coke? and mcdonalds? and citibank? like, every fucking oppressive fascistic corporate rapist is a jew? i'll bet bush is a jew! i mean, his jewish daughters are, like, so fucking stupid? did you ever see how ugly their shoes are?

i hate those jews! i hate those shoes!

just, so totally fuck you?

i want to have michael moore’s baby

like the first time I saw a picture of michael moore? i was in the abortion clinic again, and I was like reading some magazine and shit and I saw his picture and I said that this guy, is like, really beautiful? and i knew that I would, like, keep his baby?

yeah, fuck you, because, you know, if, like, you have a problem with my getting an abortion, you can like slap your dick off or something. i mean, men are just like so fucked up and shit, and like loreena bobbit? you go girl?

me and my friends? we would, like, find pregnant women on the streets and like, bribe them with food stamps to get an abortion? and, like, some of them are like so fucked up that they end up pumping out more babies to make the planet even dirtier?

so I, like, know a lot about medicine and that’s why I, like really respect markos moutsasis or like whatever his name is? he, like hurt himself real bad? probably fighting some republican trying to hump him? (like, i’m not a homophobe, so don’t start any shit with me ‘cause i’ll belt your fucking balls off.)

anyway, so, like he’s seeing this really progressive doctor and kos and the doctor are both really smart and shit (like me), and, like, read this:

thanks to everyone who send in suggestions for my tendonitis. I've got a great doctor (per local reviews), and he's prescribed an aggressive treatment of physical therapy to strengthen my wrist muscles, accupuncture, and drugs to reduce inflamation. If in six weeks I see no progress, then we'll reassess.

and I am also so into accupuncture! and like, his doctor? probably has a phd too? and, like, I also spell accupuncture with 2 “c”s, and, like, I also spell inflammation with one “m”?

like, i must have had, like, a million abortions by accupuncture? and even when i was like 12 fucking years old, i would, like, get pregnant to piss off my mom? like, fuck her? i would recycle my accupuncture needles in her fucking sofa because my parents were so fucking booshwa?

anyway, u just know that anyone who uses accupuncture for an inflamation? like knows everything on how to solve every fucking problem in the world? like war-mongering zionists? and dead black people in new orleans? and how to make president amaduner--- WHATEVER! and the other iraqi people us more?

i’m going to hold a fucking sit-in at the citibank atm machines tomorrow to like, unionize them? fuck you, labor is back, and we’re gonna kick your white ass! i, like so fucking hate being white? I just want to die?

fuck off.

hi and shit

i'm getting my phd and i am like so ashamed of it? it's like, an american phd, and i would, like, die for a degree in europe? like, women have it really hard in america because of racist bush and white people, and i just wish i wasn't white, like i sometimes want to be dead instead of having the same color as bush and george washingon and whats-his-first-name slaveowning jefferson?

and if you think i've got, like, nothing better to do on saturday night, well, just go fuck yourself. cuz if u thnk u know more than a phd candidate, then i'll show you what a cunt i can be. like, go to hell?