tampon

so, like this idiot wants to know what i carry with me? is that, like, major creepy or what! I mean, like, do you, like, jerk off while you read my postings? I’d call the fucking police, if like, you know, they weren’t such a fucking pack of sex deprived pigs themselves?

i’ll tell you? what I carry? ok, like, i carry two things? my cell phone? and a tampon? an’ i don’t pay for no fucking tampons! i, like, find them in dumpsters? when i go on my freegan dumpster diving? i mean, like, so much food goes to waste? just sitting in the trash? an’ like, tampons? it's like SOOOO wasteful to throw them out?

yeah, fuck you, i'm saving the fucking ecovironment because i re-use my tampons? i like, squeeze the blood out an' scrape the mushy stuff off an', like, use them again? and again? and again? and again? an' like, professor kurgman sez that i'm like not only saving the planet, but making a statement about my wymwynhood? like fucking PROFOUND an' shit! and like, FUCK YOU MUCH, bush? when the fucking tampon is, like, so over? i send it to the white house? because, like, they're like, sending people of color to war? an' like, you don't even have to even KNOW that this fucking war is in iran or iram or irat or ikod or ipod or WHATEVER!! like, fuck you, i also carry an ipod? an' you can't fucking shoplift these things anymore because of fascist security systems? so, i like just took the money out of my dad's wallet when he was visiting? he was in the bathroom? like probably jerking off? an' like FUCK YOU DAD 'cuz i know where you're stolen money is an' i'm soooo returning it to the people? so i took a handful of money an' stuck it in my pocket next to my tampon? an' bought an ipod?

an' u know what? i'd rather be sticking fucking steel wool up my cunt than a kotex? because kotex is made by kimberly-clark? an' they're a bunch of zionist murderers? i am like SOOOOOOOOOO boycotting kotex! during the lesbanon war? the jews were, like, suffocating muslim babies with kotex maxipads? an' those fucking jews better get ready to call me DOCTOR soon because i'm like thisclose to my phd an' shit? look the fuck out, azzholes, 'cause this bitch is gonna fuck u up! like, phds are, like, never wrong?

just go fuck yourself.

iranian prez rocks!

the iranian president or ex-president, or WHATEVER, khatami, is speaking? at my school? that is, like, so cool! i mean, iran sounds like such a cool place? and president khatami? would be, like, such a good replacement for fuckface bush?

i heard that before i was born? like, the c-i-a attacked the iranian students? in the embassy? but the iranians students don't take no shit! they kicked the cia's asses up and down the streets, and, like, beat the shit out of them? like, why can't america have a peace movement like that?

and, like, do you think the black wymyn in me comes out when i say "don't take no shit"? my friends say that, like, we all came from africa a long time ago? and, like, in africa, everyone, like, speaks, like, "i ain't doin' that shit"? and, like, i respect that because i'm african too? so fuck you white man! I ain't takin' your shit!

and president khatami hates white people too because, he's like, a person of color, and he says things like, "i ain't doin' shit for the cia"? i mean, my friends are all, like, fuck bush? and khatami is, like, all fuck bush? so, like maybe america should just become part of iran? i mean, fuck me, when part of america wanted to become part of iran in, like, 1860 or 1960 or WHATEVER, they fought a fucking civil war over it! yeah, and that's when malcolm x said, like, we ain't takin' this shit, and then some white guy like shot some black guy, and, like... like... like...history is, like, so boring? i mean, how fucking irrelevant! we've got a fucking revolution to win and the fuckheads talk about history! like, people who talk about history, are, like, so old? fuck you! i ain't takin no shit from old people! fuck you and fuck your history! my generation, like, knows everything? so we don't need your history? fuck everything before i was born!

yeah, my fucking parents are old, and i don't take no shit from them either! fuck them! i mean, my dad looks like an even bigger asshole next to khatami? i wish khatami was my dad! i'll bet khatami married someone better than my dumb cunt of a mom! like, fuck you mom? fuck you! fuck both of you! i mean, like, i am so fucking sick of u telling me shit like how u paid for my education? i mean, like, u fucking owed it to me! an' if you weren't such a cheap pair of asswipes? u would b sending me more money? instead of, like, paying your booshwah medical bills? fuck both of you!

i mean, like, i still want to be fucked? by a muslim? and, like, since arafat is dead, khatami would be my fucking dream come true? i'm gonna watch him talk an' it'll be, like, a pretend fuck? i'm gonna make it happen!

just fuck off and die.

books i read

so, like, professor kurgman sent me these questions? he told me that it's, like, a final exam? and, like, everyone passes because grading is racist?

1. One book that changed your life?

my acceptance letter to, like, grad school? i mean, that's a book, right?

2. One book you have read more than once?the users guide for my new cell phone?

like, i read it several times, but it's like, so, male-oriented? u have 2 b, like a guy? to speak their, like, stupid language?

3. One book you would want on a desert island?

yeah, fuck me, like ur gonna read on a desert island? like, i'll eat any kind of desert shit cause, like, i don't have to watch my weight? it's like, you know, wow? whatever!

4 One book that made you laugh?

my dad's checkbook cause it was like so pathetic? that he wasted money? on booshwah shit like electric bills? and food? fuck him!

5. One book that made you cry?

i'll make u cry, u fucking wymwn-hating bigot! i am just, like, so, you know, fuck you? today?

6. One book you wish had been written?

maybe, like, a shoe catalog that's so fucking big? that i could spend a week going thru it?

7. One book you wish had never been written.

yeah, i got a lot of textbooks that i wish were never written? because it took me so fucking long to read that shit? as if i read them! my undergrad professors were, like, so uptight and shit so i would say fuck this, like, being high is, like, so much more real that listening to them? fuck them!

8. One book you're currently reading.

yeah, i'm reading the Q'uran because there's like, a lot of truth? in it? i mean, i bought the book? that's the same as reading it, right? but, like, who has to read it anyway to see that the palestinians? are like suffering? because of capitalism?

9. One book you have been meaning to read.the protocols of the elders of zion?

i am just, like, so angry? at jews? for, like, making trouble all over the world? and, like, ruining my parties? i mean, what the fuck is a protocol anyway? i bet they beat muslims with their protocols!

10. Now tag five people.

i'll tag your white ass! yeah, just cause i'm white doesn't mean that i don't think like a wimyn of color! fuck you white boy! u wanna see a bitch? i'll smash your balls with my dissertation! i am, like, just so, fuck all white people today?

rumsfeld jerks off on Q'uran

i, like, didn't believe this at first because it is, like, he is so old? and his jewish dick is, you know, probably so gross? but, like, a picture of it was put on the front page of the new york times? or, at least, that's what my friends told me? i mean, i've got a lot of friends? and they send me all sorts of shit? like, look at this proof of what bush is doing? i have, like, so many friends that i don't, like, even know all of them? but i am like so fuck you today because my friends say to me, like, kathy, you are, like, so much smarter than that wonkette bitch? and i'm like, all, fuck wonkette? like, she's a friend too, but fuck my friends? i mean, even if i lost half of my friends, i would still have more friends than you or anyone else? and if you have fewer friends than me, like, go fuck yourself, because i don't even speak to people that don't have enough friends?

like, i really hate religion, ok? fuck the pope! but you don't disrespect Islam by jerking off on their holy book! it's where i draw the line? i mean, Islam is the real deal? and if you don't like it, you're a racist? like my parents? i told them, like, why don't you convert to Islam, but they are, like, so racist that they won't even, like, consider it? like, fuck them? so, like, fuck me, i'm gonna be a muslim someday because it's, like, the only place where wimwyn get respect? and, like, where there's no war? fuck war! i hate war! you want a war, you gotta fucking deal with me! i fucking march in the fucking streets to, like, stop wars? but bush just wants war and just wants war and it's like war war war against the people of color and lesbians and just fuck all of you? yeah, you fucking stop my peace march an' amerikai'll fucking kick your nuts in!

it's like the time i kicked my dad in the nuts? i was, like, eleven years old? and he, like, said some racist shit about how everyone should get a job, and i was, like, dad? pow! i kicked him the fucking nuts! yeah, like, show your jelly balls to your kkk buddies now, you fucking white pig!

fuck off.