Virginia Tech Murders Fault of Jews

so, i was like not at all surprised to hear about the virginia tech shootings? i mean, like, we live in a really really sick society? one that eats chickens in kfc? like, every day chickens are, like, murdered so that white people can eat their filthy fried chicken, and, like, society is immune to that, so it's just a short step to killing people? it's like fuck you, i'm killing chickens today so fuck you, i'm killing people tomorrow?

and the guy who did the shooting was, like, asian? and all the victims were white? and that's like total fucking proof of racism? against asians? he probably said, like, fuck this white racist society? and fuck this school? school is some hard shit! i know! it's like, so, oppressive? and, like, my fucking nazi dad keeps opening his dumbass mouth about how he has to pay for my education and i better do good and i'm like all SHUT UP already you fucking pig? whatever!!! and this shooter guy had it easy because he is, from, like, asia or some shit where life is pretty fucking easy compared with fucking racist amerikkka?

(((and you think that the shootings have nothing to do with imus? well, if they had nothing to so with imus, then why the fuck did they happen, like, only a few days after imus raped the college basketball team? i mean, all you fucking hear about is fucking virginia tech this and fucking virginia tech that, and you don't hear any fucking shit about imus!)))

do you know how many people bush has murdered? fucking millions! and no one gives a fuck about that! the fucking amerikkkan military, is, like, taking a big fucking flying shit over people of color in, like, iran and iraq and every other motherfucking place where they can take the fucking oil to pay for cheney's blow jobs with college interns? (if that old fuckface ever tried that shit with me, i'd kick his fucking balls right through his mouth!) and, like, instead of taking action against the racist amerikkkan government (and their stupid fat fucking nascar-watching stupidass christianist population), all we, like, hear about is how a minority college student killed some people at a college in fucking redneck virginia.

hide the daily amerikkkan genocide and blame everything on a minority. yeah, wonder why?

well, who the fuck do you think controls the media? like...clueworld here...but who the fuck is killing millions of palestinians every day? yeah, like fucking no one is talking about the plight of our palestinian sisters and brothers now! it's all, like, kill the fucking koreans? the fucking zionists have been putting a lot of shit on kim jong el or il or WHATEVER and that didn't fucking work so now the fucking zionists have another, like, fucking korean in their fucking lying mainstream media so no one will notice a fucking holocaust repeated every fucking day in palestine. like, this is SO NOT what rachel corrie died for? (and that fucking jew soldier raped corrie before running her over, but, like, THAT FACT is, like, also, so suppressed by you-fucking-know-who?)

maybe if virginia tech, like, did something about their jewish students, then, like, this whole fucking thing wouldn't have happened? yeah, you won't fucking read about that in the fucking mainstream racist jew media! an' you know what? that's the fucking proof of everything i'm saying. know what i'm sayin'? yeah, i can talk like a black wymyn!

i don't have the fucking time, to, like, proof, any of this shit? i mean, i don't have time to even proof my fucking dissertation! so, like, if you see anything you don't like, then go fuck yourself.

i'm a GUY for a day

so for one day, i decided to live like a GUY to see what it is like.

***

my alarm clock went off at noon, and i was like, oh fuck, and i scratched my crotch like over and over and over. then i, like, wanted breakfast so i, like, killed a mouse and started eating its raw organs? with a beer? and another beer and another beer until i had, like, six bottles of beer? (yeah, well, actually the mouse was dead anyway for about a week, so it wasn't like i was disrestpecting peta and shit.)

it was now 12:15, and i was like, "damn, i've been up for fifteen minutes and i ain't got no pussy yet!" yeah, so i threw up on the kitchen table and, like, just left the puke there. (i do that anyway sometimes as a womyn though...)

then i walked into every room of the apartment and peed on the floor, cause every room belongs to me! (i had to, like, use p-mate to do this the right way.)

fuck, i had to go to class.

like, i didn't know which class, but i figured i would just, like, show up? and would see whatever class was in session? whatever!

so, i taped on a fake beard, and i got in my car, and, like really accelerated hard to the red signal at the corner where there was this, like, total "babe"? in the next lane?

and i'm like all "man, what i could with that!" yeah, she didn't like hearing that, and i didn't like saying that, but i'm a guy today!

"hey sugarcakes, that's some fine pair o' tits ya got!" yeah, she got mad, and i don't blame her! i mean, this is like, what happens all the time to wymyn? so, anyway, she drove off, but, like, part of my guy-supply was a bottle of rubber cement in my pocket? yeah, i squirted it on her car, and it, like, got all over her windshield and made, like, a TOTAL mess when the wiper blades started smearing it around? and i'm like all, "hey shitcakes, what the fuck do you want? I'm a guyyyyy!!!"

so anyway, i parked the car, and said, "fucking hell, i still haven't had any pussy today!" so I walked over to a lampost and, like, humped it? yeah, i poured rubber cement on that shit too!

i then opened my trunk and pulled out this big fucking sheet of attic insulation, and dragged it into the building. i got to the lobby, and said, "damn, i've got an urge!" so i, like humped the insulation and then poured rubber cement on it. that fucking shit is also a mess with rubber cement! like, the fibers get all gummed together?

anyway, i dragged the insulation through the halls and passed a classroom with professor kurgman lecturing in it. yeah, this must be my fucking class! so i kicked the fucking door in and swaggered in and professor kurgman is all "kathy, you're a guy today -- you can now get a taste of what it means to be in charge of patriarchichal (whatever!) society for one day!"

so i went to the front of the room and peed on his desk. then i peed on the walls. this is my fucking classroom cause i'm a guy! i blew a heap of wind out of my ass and yelled "i gotta leave early today to see the big game. and to get laid."

yeah, the whole class cheered!

"i'm gonna fix this fucking closet door now, it fucking squeaks like a bitch in heat!" yeah, i put a big fucking hammer to the closet door, like BANG, and then i took an axe and smashed the fucking thing apart with one blow. "it's all fixed now 'cause i'm a guyyyy!"

and professor kurgman said that he would suspend all of his classes unless the administration paid for my broken axe handle! he's tenured!

so i then turned to this wymyn classmate and said "let's do it babe!" and started humping her right in the fucking classroom...guy that i am fucking am! (yeah, she's like bi and shit, so she didn't give a shit about that shit.) i then squirted rubber cement on her, and said to her, "you better sew my gummy attic insulation, bitch!" then I threw the insulation at her and squirted rubber cement all over the classroom.

and professor kurgman said that today's experience can, like, count as part of my dissertation?

fuck yeah!

so, i then stuck my hand down my pants and pulled some lice out of my ass, and then fell asleep in the classroom, making sure to snore like a fucking pig.

at the end of the day, i became a respectable wymyn again -- though i had to give up my power. someday, wymwyn are gonna take the fuck over. men suck ass.

the minimum wage

the minimum wage

a paper to get my first phd

by kathy

part 1: history

a long time ago, people worked for nothing. they were slaves. everything we have today is from the slaves. slaves would do whatever slaves would do and their owners -- usually jews -- would keep all the profits. this was so unfair!

part 2: revolution

so malcolm x started a revolution that finally made the jews pay the slaves. that's why we're celebrating king day next week. malcolm x was a king!

part 3: wal-mart

today, wal-mart still has slaves. instead of letting them join a union, they lock them in the stores overnight and burn them to death. then they get a new batch of slaves the next day. motherfuckers!

part 4: corporate capitalism

the word for wal-mart and all other slave-owners is corporate capitalism. capitalism comes from the latin, or maybe greek, word "rape" because they rape the women before they burn them to death. they don't rape the men because they're homophobic.

part 5: the union movement

unions are progressive because they kick ass!

part 6: the democratic party

unlike dead white republicans like gerald ford, democrats make sure that the working people aren't exploited. they say if you hire someone, you have to pay them what they deserve. and if you're too dumbass to know what your workers deserve, then the democratic party will tell you that workers everywhere, no matter what they do, need $7.65 an hour and health benefits and disability benefits and overtime benefits and time-off benefits and unemployment benefits and social security benefits and medicare benefits and maternity leave benefits and physically-challenged benefits and equal-worth benefits and non-discrimination benefits and vacation benefits and guaranteed job benefits just to survive. you know what that means? survival! it ain't easy!

part 7: the communist party

they know about real worker liberation. the democrats talk too much, but the communists act! there has never been a minimum-wage problem in a communist country. in cuba, everyone works at whatever they want to do and they they don't care how much they make because they're happy! they have a rich culture (source: new york times) and really good health care (source: new york times).

part 8: economics

if you can't pay workers the minimum wage, then we won't let your racist ass hire any workers! that'll make you think twice about exploiting working people. we'll shut down your business. then you'll be in the street where we can pound your white balls in, and the workers will be liberated!

the end